Hello! Please hide my identity. Notify me when posted.
Let me go straight to the point. My name is Fidelia. Some years ago, while I was at the university, I went clubbing with some friends and in the process I got drunk. One of my friends was able to get a cab to take me to my apartment off-campus.
The only thing I could remember while drunk was that, my female next-door neighbour helped me into my house, while I was staggering and reeking of alcohol. She undressed me under the pretext that I needed to bathe so I can sleep since I’m drunk.
But to my greatest surprise, I woke up the next morning and realized she had taken advantage of my drunkenness by having sex with me. I became so angry and felt ashamed that I had just been raped by a woman
The most painful part of it was that she was not remorseful and still made some advances at me the next morning. I had to yell at her before she left my house.
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I thought of arresting and prosecuting her or even reporting her to the landlord and other neighbours but the thought of how people will misinterpret the whole scenario and criticize me made me keep it to myself.
Such a thing has never happened to me before. I had to do dry fasting and prayers for myself because, after that day, I had the urge to make love with her, maybe because she was still disturbing me for sex. That thing is spiritual. I told myself I can’t sleep with a woman like me when there are lots of guys around.
I became depressed and, shamefully, I had to tell my boyfriend everything that transpired in order not to be addicted, I had to compel my boyfriend into having hard sex with me so I could get addicted to him only, and not to a woman.
Apart from my boyfriend, I’ve been very scared to come out and say it to anyone. Who’s gonna believe that a fellow woman raped me? It’s nonsense. Or don’t you think so?
It’s been four years since this sad event occurred and I still feel guilty recalling it won’t have happened if I wasn’t drunk that night.
How do I fix my mind to kill the sadness and guilt that threaten my peace of mind? All I need now is to get it off my mind and live as though that day never existed but I can’t.
Please publish this story. Maybe I will get advice in the comment section that may help me get over it for good.
NB: The views and opinions expressed belong solely to the original author who wishes to remain anonymous. Thus the name used above is a pseudonym, and the article does not represent the views and opinions of Mangrovepen.ng.