Help! My smoking habit wants to ruin my relationship

Please I need the opinion of your readers on this. Notify me when posted.

I am not much of a saint, I will admit. I consider myself a good man and one that abides by the tenets of life principles, but my only problem is smoking cigarettes. I just can’t stop this habit.

My girlfriend has complained about my habit, but each time I try my best to keep away from it, I see myself going back.

I can’t remember exactly when I started smoking. Although, I have always had a thing for smoking since I was a teenager.

When I graduated from the university some years ago and had to face the harsh reality of job searching that was when this addiction took a stronghold on me.

It became something I couldn’t do without even for a day.
Having a stick of cigarette in my hand feels very comforting. It is like I have a friend nearby, who is helping me relax my nerve and assuring me of a better day ahead.

I met my girlfriend two years ago. Since then I have been looking forward to spending all my life with her by marrying her.

I am always at peace when I’m with her. There is no contesting this fact.
But the one thing that she doesn’t condone is my smoking.

She has once caught me smoking in the kitchen. She got angry and walked away. Later that day, she came back and asked me to swear that I will never touch a cigarette again.

She told me about the disadvantages of smoking and the implications it can have on my health. Everything she said are things that I already know, but I just couldn’t help myself.

After three days of abstinence, on a cold Saturday morning, I was in my kitchen smoking when I heard the door open.

Only she had the spare key to my apartment. Shit! What am I going to do? I could hear her calling my name as she noticed my presence.

I can’t let her discover that I was at this again after three days. Before I could make my way through the back door, she was already in the kitchen. I slipped the cigarette into my pocket.

“Hi Boo,” she smiled at me.
“Hey! You didn’t call.” I tried my best to act normal. I thought I could act normal for a while. I did for roughly about two minutes as we walked to the parlour. That was all I could do until I felt the burning sensation in my pocket.

I sat far from her, trying my best to position the cigarette in a way before I could walk out.

The sensation was getting hotter. I had to get the cigarette out of my pocket. When I stood up hurriedly, she exclaimed “your pocket is on fire!”

I ran to the backyard to get rid of the cigarette and she ran after me.

It’s been close to a month now and she hasn’t answered my calls, or replied to my messages. I went to her house, but I was told by her sister that she travelled.

Please help me, my smoking addiction is too strong, I can’t just help myself and I don’t want to lose her either.

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