Giving a helping hand to those in need is one of the most fulfilling things one can do. There is always a deep joy that comes with benevolent gestures, which is healthy for the human mind. Both the giver and the receiver all get satisfied in the process of giving.
Pleasing people itself is not entirely bad. Sadly, however, it has its demerits. In the process of trying to please everyone, you put on the robe of a different personality by altering your behaviour.
The popular American therapist, Erika Myers was right when she said that: “You might go out of your way to do things for the people in your life, based on what you assume they want or need. You give up your time and energy to get them to like you.”
“The urge to please others, “Myers adds, “can be damaging to ourselves and potentially to our relationships when we allow other people’s wants to have more importance than our own needs.”
Let’s look at four reasons why you shouldn’t go out of your way to please everyone:
1. YOU CANNOT PLEASE EVERYBODY: Despite your overwhelming drive, you can’t please everybody. It is merely a pipe dream. No one has ever pleased everybody, and no will will ever do so. So kill that desire today.
2. YOU MAY BE LEFT TO YOUR FATE: Life itself is a give and take process. You may go out of your way today to please an individual, but funny enough that individual may refuse to lend you a helping hand when you need his or her help. Some people believe it’s their right to receive, but not their responsibility to give.
You may be disappointed tomorrow when those you unduly please today fail to reciprocate your kind gesture(s). So, only do your possible best and leave the rest issues to be solved naturally.
3. YOU MAY GO BROKE: There are times when you’ll be made to feel you’re not doing enough to remedy a particular situation, despite all your efforts. Such a feeling may lead you to spend all your money thereby rendering you broke and helpless.
Don’t allow yourself to be a laughing stock in your quest to solve the financial problems of others. Well, except you are Santa Clause. Even Bill Gates does not spend all his fortune on his Foundation.
4. IT WILL AFFECT YOU PSYCHOLOGICALLY: Trying to please everyone may lead to psychological problems, such as low self-esteem, because of your quest for validation from people. Your mind will always be unsettled because of your unachievable desire to make everyone happy through giving and whatnot.
And here is a bonus…
5. YOU WILL BE FRUSTRATED: Frustration and resentment may set in when you must have exhausted your resources in a bid to please everyone; realized how difficult, if not impossible, it is to gratify everyone; as well as seen the shameless display of ingratitude by some persons you went the extra mile to please.
Therefore, before embarking on the voyage of people-pleasing, think about the adverse effect it will have on your health, state of mind, resources, and relationship with others.
What do you think? Is it advisable to please everyone? I would love to hear from you.
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